i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
