i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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