Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
