but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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