if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
