I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
