I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
