in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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