What a fucking waste of an outfit
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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