i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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