then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
