I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Randomize
