I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
do herpes really smell.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
