i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
