I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
