return my video game
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
