Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
