dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
