He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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