I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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