Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
