The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
