there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
