He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
