when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
