dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
