I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
