And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
