Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
