Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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