So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
