I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
