At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
