I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
