Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"

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(305): View more from Florida

I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls

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(334): View more from Alabama

I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.

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(845): View more from New York

He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.

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(518): View more from New York

Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.

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(419): View more from Ohio

His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.

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