3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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