i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
