butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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