I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
