There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
