But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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