i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
