We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
