Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
