I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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