oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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