fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
