she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The uberlube is also flammable
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
