Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
