dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
