So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm having to shit out rocks
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
