You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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