ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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