Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
smell my finger.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
